Friday, December 7, 2012

A Picture IS Worth a Thousand Words!

We love our Tory girl but she's really been keeping us on "high alert" since bringing her home in October.  I'm happy to say she's making great progress and learning how to be in a family (even if it is a crazy white family!).  We seem to have frequent battles and tears over who's in charge and can this mama be trusted.  There have been mental battles as well as physical during my trial period.  I should note here that she has me on trial and not vice versa.

We had two major events this week.

Event #1 took place at the local social security office.  Her U.S. citizenship document came so first thing the next morning we headed off to acquire the much needed (for insurance and tax return purposes) social security card.  We got our number, found seats and pulled out a plethora of toys from the girls' bags.  Within just a few minutes, it started.  Our little Mr. Hyde who sometimes goes by Victoria started with a look and pushed my belly saying loudly 'soft'. Next came a little grab, harder grab and a good scratch.  Oh dear!  How do I handle things here?  I sure didn't want to lose my place in line!  What followed was heartbreaking!  She looked around the universally familiar government office and burst into tears and gave me a good wallop!  Well the tears were my cue (they don't usually come with these anger outbursts until much later).  I offered to hold her and she climbed onto my lap breaking into huge sobs and crying "Elaina, soft" and stroking her sister's hair and face.  Then she started going down her favs list crying out "Gwen, Daniel, Baba (side note: mama didn't make the list).  That's when the light came on!  She thought I was giving her back!  Geez!  Here's where I am immensely thankful for anyone and everyone who has helped and encouraged my learning Cantonese.  I was able to convince her that she was mine!  Forever!

Event #2 was tonight.  We picked up some photos at the drugstore to send to our agency for our first post placement report.  Ugh - now they have to be old school photos and not a printout.  Anyway, Victoria loves to look at pictures.  I had a brief spark of genius when I ordered the photos and got duplicates so I could give her a set.  Yea me!  Yup, she loves them.  What came next was unexpected!  She emptied out her set of treasured photos of her life in China - including the ones with Ayee (auntie - foster parent) that she has clung to and refused to even let me see, let alone hold them.  She brought them to me!  Then she brought the little photo album I had given her to hold her China photos with her new photos in them!  I waited all evening for her to return asking for her photos back but it never happened.  This is a MAJOR trust step for us!  Praise God!

1 comment:

Drea said...

Bless her heart! It never ceases to amaze me what our children carry in their hearts. MeiLi (our six year old), has always treated our social worker with ambivalence. At Scarlett's first post placement visit, she desolved into tears and insisted on leaving the room. Later, we talked about her feelings and she asked, "Why does China need to know how we are doing? What can China do?" At last we realized that she fears that if China is still somehow in the loop, then perhaps they have the power to take our children back. She has viewed our social worker as China's liaison, hence her dislike of her.