Monday, August 27, 2012

Confession

I was about to send an email to a mentor and I (thankfully!) went back to re-read what I'd written.  It wasn't pretty!  I sounded like a spoiled child that had lost her toy by flushing it down the loo and was now whining about it not being her fault the toy was lost.  I am truly ashamed.  We have been so greatly blessed by everyone's generosity and love for us.  I am sorry and I humbly ask forgiveness.  

I have included a copy of my email here, mostly to remind myself how small I was behaving and hope never to be that girl again. 

I should tell you the blog I follow is A Place Called Simplicity and if you want to see a family living and walking in faith, go and check out their blogs.  You can reach Linny's blog by clicking on the link on the right side of this page toward the bottom.

"Linny, I have to say again what a great example and mentor you have been for me even though you don't know me.  

I was reading your blog today about having faith that God will provide for all of our needs.  Intellectually, I get this and in many physical ways I have experienced this.  But at the moment I'm a bit low.  We are close to the travel stage of our second adoption and it just seems that every penny is a struggle. My husband and I have been discussing this some over the past few days and we know that we haven't been as diligent as we should have been.  We've wasted dollars at eating out and too frequently made little purchases of "wants" and now we find ourselves short on paying for our travel.  We hate the idea of using credit (borrower being slave to the lender, ugh!) as well as owning up that we didn't manage to be good stewards.

Ok, stop there.  I just re-read what I wrote and what a crybaby I am!  I was looking for your insight into what you thought.  Would God give me a second chance and provide?  (sob, boo hoo)   Well, I've just received my answer!  He did provide!  He keeps providing!  I live in a lovely home, with plenty of food in the fridge, TV, Internet and decent clothes to wear!  He wants me to have to confess that I messed up!  I did!  My blessing in this mess is that we are ABLE to get a loan and ABLE to pay it off quickly if we live in a respectful manner!   Oh, and by the way, I should conduct myself differently next time.  Okay, I get it!

New Dilemma:  Do I send this email off so you can be in on the little secret way God just used you, again?  Well, yes.  

So, Thanks for hearing me confess to falling down and being a whiner."

Thanks Linny.

No comments: